Experiment #13 - Atlanta Nights - Chapter 1

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Atlanta Nights - Chapter 1
By Travis Tea


Pain.

Whispering voices.

Pain.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

Sora: Is this the book, or are we just reading the reviews on the back cover?
Liz: I’d be concerned if any book has the review “Whispering voices.” We’re not reading the Necronomicon, here.

Need pee--new pain--what are they sticking in me?...

Liz: Whatever it is, up the dosage, man.
Sora: I sure hope he was going to say “need peanuts” or something...
Liz: Whatever makes you feel better, hon. *pats Sora’s arm*

Sleep.

Pain.

Whispering voices.

Liz: *as Torgo* ThE MaStEr SaYs YoU cAn’T sTaY hErE.
Wilykit: Are you sure we got the right story? This feels more like bad free verse poetry to me.

“As you know, Nurse Eastman, the government spooks controlling this hospital will not permit me to give this patient the care I think he needs.”

All: *singing* The Phaaaaaaaaantom of the Hospital is here~

“Yes, doctor.” The voice was breathy, sweet, so sweet and sexy.

Sora: *puts on fake airs* Ohh yes, I’m a nurse and I love doing all the hard work around here for a fraction of the doctor’s pay!

“We will therefore just monitor his sign’s.

Liz: His sign’s...? Hello, story?

Serious trauma like this patient suffered requires extra care, but the rich pasties controlling the hospital will make certain I cannot try any new treatments on him.”

Sora: ...The hospital is run by donuts?!
Liz: No, you’re thinking of police stations. Hospitals are run on pixie stix.
Wilykit: *as doctor* Those fools! They laughed at me, called me mad, but soon, I shall show them ALL the wonders of my new sock puppet treatment program! Then I’ll be the only one laughing! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
Liz: *cues a thunderclap*

“Yes, doctor.” That voice was soooo sexy!

Liz: My Inner Life...the modern rewrite!

Bruce didn’t care about treatments. He cared about pain, and he cared about that voice, because when he heard the voice, the pain went away, just for a few seconds, like.

Sora: Like...what?
Wilykit: Like a bad dream? Like I’m really hoping this story is?

“Report to me if there’s any change,” the man’s voice said.

“Yes, Dr. Nance,” said the sexy voice.

Liz: *as the nurse* Hey, I found a penny in his IV, doctor!

A door closed, and Bruce heard breathing, and smelled the enticing smell of shampoo, and perfume. It was Chanel Number 5. ‘ ‘

Sora: That just makes it sound like a breathing door took a shower and is now wearing perfume.
Liz: *as Old Spice Guy* Hello windows~ look at your door, now look at mine...

He opened his eyes.

Sora: *sings* HIS EYES ARE OPEEEENNNN!
Wilykit: *joins in* WEAR NO DISGUISE FOR MEEEE!
Sora: *continues* COME INTO THE OPENNNN!

All he saw was the roundest, firmest pair of titties he’d ever seen in his life, all enclosed in a crisp white nurse’s uniform.

Wilykit: *eyes widen* Suddenly, I get the feeling I really shouldn’t be reading this.

I’m in heaven, he said. No, he tried to say, but his voice wouldn’t work, his mouth was dry, and there was some terrible tube thing in his nose--and hey, what’s that thing in his dick? It hurts!

Wilykit: Meanwhile, we’re in hell.
Sora: *blanches and clamps hands over his pants*

The tits bounced like Aunt Alice’s molded jello back at home, and then moved away.

Liz: Nurse, honey, they have a solution for that. It’s called a BRA.
Wilykit: Follow the bouncing balls!
Liz: ...thank you for that image. *facepalm*

Oh. She was just straightening the covers on the bed.

Bed.

Sora: Bugs!
Liz: So the story isn’t the only thing that bites, eh Sora?
Sora: It definitely bugs me...
Wilykit: I don’t know about you, but sleeping tight sounds like a fantastic idea right now. Good night! *fakes snoring*

Bruce realized he laid in a bed, his left arm being strapped down, with something sticking an up-a tube--on the top of his hand.

Wilykit: *starts channeling 90s Kid* This is totally tubular, man!
Liz: *shudders* Don’t ever do that again.

Bruce looked up. The tits belonged to a beautiful face carved out of ice and whipped cream,

Sora: Ewwww, she’s melting!

with a pair of glowing emerald eyes. Around that perfect face was brown hair like one of those super models, all puffed up.

Liz: *rubs temple* Oh please tell me he’s not into that stupid inflation porn...
Wilykit: ...What?
Liz: ...you don’t wanna know. Trust me.
Sora: I’m just picturing someone from an 80s metal hair band.
Liz: Can’t imagine where that image came from. *looks over at Wilykit*
Sora: *looks as well*
Wilykit: ... *stares back at them* What?

“Oh, you’re awake, Mr. Lucent,” said the sexy nurse.

Wilykit: We get it, story. He’s got a big honking crush on the nurse. Can we please come up with another adjective to describe her already?
Liz: Careful what you wish for, you might have to riff Eye of Argon next.

Bruce worked his lips, but couldn’t speak.

“Well, Mr. Lucent,” the sexy voice went on. “You are probably wondering what you are doing here, honey chile.”

Sora: That sounds good on chicken wings.
Liz: The password is “Charleston.”

He realized the voice had the accent of a sexy Southern peach.

Sora: As opposed to a cute Northern kumquat.
Liz: Or a plain Western banana.
Wilykit: Or an ugly Eastern pear.

“You were in an auto accident, Mr. Lucent, but don’t worry. You’ll be jess fine. This here is the finest hospital in Atlanta, and you are in the care of the finest doctor, Dr. Arthur Eastman.”

Sora: He’s from the west, right?
Wilykit: The hospital bigwigs won’t let the doctor do anything for him but keep an eye on his vital signs. Oh yeah, that’s quality health care, right there.

Bruce tried to speak, but just moaned.

Liz: *as Bruce* That accent...it hurts...honestly, not even the cast of Squirm was that southern!

“Now, is there anything I can get you?” Nurse Eastman asked, moving around to the other sides of the bed, and fluffing the pillow.

Liz: *opens her mouth* ...I’m burned out with most of my dirty jokes.
Sora: *sings* Whatever Bruce wants...Bruce gets!...

Bruce wanted to feel those titties, that is what he wanted.

Liz: OUR HERO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Not that he could do much else, he realized. Everything hurt, right down to that thing, whatever it was, in his dick.

Sora: *hides his face* Can they please not bring that up anymore?
Liz: ...Sora, that didn’t help.
Sora: Why... *stops, and groans*
Wilykit: *shifts uncomfortably* I don’t even have one of those, and now I’m starting to feel the pain.

“Uh,” he said.

Nurse Eastman’s eyes lit up like Christmas tree light’s.

Liz: And then they started blinking and changing color. It only got awkward when suddenly her nostrils played Wizards in Winter.
Wilykit: But then one bulb burnt out and the rest all went out with it.

“Now you’re talking! Oh,” she gave a girlish giggle. “You are recovering jess fine! I have to go tell Dr. Eastman, right away.”

Wilykit: Wait, are the doctor and the nurse related somehow?
Sora: And who’s this Jess Fine she keeps talking about?

“Wait...” he grated.

She paused, giggling again. A frightened giggle now. A childish giggle.

Sora: So is she giggling, or what?

As though a little girl on Halloween, going door to door, instead of seeing a paper Mackay witch or goblin

Liz: Have you heard of my new band, Paper Mackay Goblin?

suddenly was grabbed by the real thing.

Wilykit: No, I’d be screaming and beating the monster with my bag of candy if that happened, not giggling.
Sora: Maybe Mackay goblins are supposed to be really funny.

“I don’t remember...” Bruce croaked. “I don’t remember!”

Sora: *as Bruce, flailing* I GOTS NOWHERE ELSE TO GOOOOO!
Liz: *sings* I don’t remember, I don’t recall~I got no memory of anything at all~

“No,” she said, shaking her head vehemently. “You don’t remember a thing. Now, you jess rest!”

She went to the door, her hips swaying like palm trees in a Hawaiian hurricane.

Liz: That’s gotta hurt, especially when they get ripped apart by the howling winds.

Bruce lied there in the bed, trying to recover his memory.

Liz: *as Bruce* I am NOT trying to recover my memory! *shifty eyes*
Sora: Maybe Namine can help.
Wilykit: Or maybe she can help us forget this whole thing once we’re out of here!
Sora: *sighs* That would be nice...

All he could remember was the screeching of tires’,

Liz: Tires’...what?
Sora: The tires’ nails on chalkboard!

like a steam engine gone crazy, and then there was just all that pain. Hell. Hell on wheels, that’s what it was, yeses.

Liz: The proper response to “noes.”

Hell.

Sora: Is what Rambo calls home.

On wheels.

Wilykit: As opposed to heaven on skis.
Sora: I thought that oooh, heaven is a place on earth.

* * *

While outside the door, Nurse Eastman leaned against the wall, her breasts rising and falling with passion as she tried to control her gasps.

Liz: No no no, I was KIDDING when I brought up My Inner Life!

Oh no, she thought. How could it be? Out of all the hospitals in Georgia, they would bring him here.

Sora: *as Humphrey Bogart* Out of all the hospitals in all the world, he had to get strapped onto a table in mine.

She raised shaking fingers and outlined the shape of her lips, moaning softly as she remembered the one day she’d met Bruce Lucent.

Liz: *as random doctor* Hey rookie! Stop fantasising about your ex, we’ve got a guy with appendicitis over here!
Sora: *as nurse* Sorry, the hospital bigwigs won’t let me do anything but monitor his vital systems anyway!
Wilykit: If this is going where I think it’s going, I REALLY don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be here right now.

The single day, at the high school prom. She’d gone with her cousin to please their parents, since his date got sick and he had rented his tux and everything, even though she was in nursing college.

Liz: ...*suddenly starts to look sick*
Sora: *blinks* Uhhh...
Wilykit: I didn’t realize this took place THAT far South!
Liz: Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more wrong than Touched by Venom.

Enchantment Under the Sea, it was called...

Sora: *sings* DARLIN’ IT’S BETTER, DOWN WHERE IT’S...oh who am I kidding, it is not better!

she could remember it as if it were yesterday...their eye met across the room,

Sora: She’s a cyclops!
Liz: Of all the optic nerve...

locked, held, molding passionately. It was a gaze of molten heat, a supernova of total lust, even though he was only seventeen and she was twenty-three.

It was only a matter of time before she ditched her cousin and Bruce ditched his date, and they found themselves in the back of Bruce’s Chevy...

Sora: *sings* They made love in his Chevy van and that’s...wait, no, it’s not all right with me.
Liz: *yup, definitely looking ill now*

She moaned, writhing in memory, until a voice splintered, shattered, pierced her memory. “Nurse Eastman!”

Wilykit: Hey Liz, I think you were right about a doctor coming in to yell at her for going into that porny fantasy earlier! Yay!
Liz: Thank. God.

It was the Head Nurse! Her warty nose quivered, he eyes blazed with suspicion. The old bag!

Sora: *gasps* Nurse Ratchet, NO!
Wilykit: Wendy Oldbag? Oh no, now we’re never going to get any peace and quiet.

She wouldn’t know what true love really was.

Wilykit: That’s not very nice! Unattractive people can fall in love, too!

“I’m sorry,” Margaret Eastman smiled. “I just had a cramp.”

Liz: A sexy, pedophilic cramp.

“If you are sick, you may be excused from your shift,” the Head Nurse opined.

Liz: Oh thank God. Later guys. *starts to stand up*
Sora: *grabs her arm* Hold on, we’re almost done.
Liz: *slumps* This theater needs airsickness bags.

“I--I will be fine. But I promised Dr. Nance I would let him know when his patient woke up,”

Wilykit: Wait, I thought his name was Dr. Eastman, same as hers.

Margaret gritted,

Liz: At least she didn’t bacon.
Wilykit: But she sure does have egg on her face.

and ran away before the Head Nurse could stop her, her high heels clattering on the floor like the death knells of doom.

Wilykit: High heels? With all the time nurses have to stay on their feet? The poor thing!
Liz: They don’t even wear bras, are you really surprised?
Wilykit: I guess not...

Doctor Arthur Nance looked up when the nurse entered the room.

Sora: *as the doctor* Oh good, you’re here. So nurse, can you tell me: is my name Eastman or Nance?

Arthur had always been the brightest star at school, from a very early age.

Sora: What?! He’s not a world!

He was always elected class president in grammar school, middle school, and high school. He was Class Valedictorian at his graduation, and when a lot of his friends went to mechanic school, or junior college to mess around with business, he went straight to the university medical school.

Liz: *as the text goes on* *singing* Exposition, exposition, rush shit out ASAP~

But their Arthur ran into something far worse than tough teachers or tough grades: prejudice.

Sora: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN.
Wilykit: Oh, great. Now we’re in for a preachy public service announcement.
Liz: Just remember to duck and cover.

Yes, prejudice. Not race, but class. All the snobs from the wealthy families laughed at him for his accent,

Sora: To be fair, everyone laughed at him for his accent.
Liz: Tommy Wiseau, the early years!
Sora: *as the doctor* Ohai Nurse Eastman!
Wilykit: *same* YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, NURSE!
Liz: Ahahah, what a story Travis Tea.

when he tried to join the most popular fraternities on campus, they hazed him without letting him know until too late that he would never join.

Arthur got his medical degree, but he became embittered, against rich people, and politicians,

Sora: And those Whos down in Whoville, who liked Christmas a lot!
Liz: *sings* You’re a mean one, mister Nance~

and anyone in authority. Whereever he went, he was sure there was some conspiracy against him, by those in authority.

Wilykit: He never suspected that the real conspiracy was by the milkmen.

He was sure of it when he didn’t get hired to any private hospitals, or to a lucrative practice among the rich, doing fat removal and face-lifts for twenty-five grand apiece.

Wilykit: Maybe that’s because he specialized in intensive care and not in plastic surgery.
Sora: ...You know, I think I still prefer using curaga to all this.

No, he could only get a job in this hellhole, where every night the ambulances brought in drunks and suicides and crazily homeless and the battered wrecks the EMTs scraped off the freeways.

Sora: Is he doctoring on roadkill?
Liz: *makes a face* I don’t think they make spatulas that big, man.

Like this Lucent jerk.

Sora: *sarcastic* But he’s got a Chevy and everything! They’re so DEPENDABLE!
Liz: But are they nearly as Metal as the Honda Odyssey?
Wilykit: Well, they’re both cars, so yeah, they’re made of metal, aren’t they?
Liz: Nnnnot quite what I meant. *scratches the back of her head*

Arthur was sitting there brooding about all these ills when Nurse Eastman came into the doctor room.

Liz: *as doctor* Dammit woman, we knock before interrupting my brooding time!

“Is my patient awake?” he asked.

Sora: Not anymore. He said “garp,” and then he said “good,” and then he died.

“Yes,” she said, and then she wiped her eyes and throatily whispered, “Doctor, I have to request that you excuse me from attending to this patient.”

“Request denied,”

Sora: Please try your password again.
Liz: *as doctor* How DARE you have emotional connections that could potentially interfere with your work!

Dr. Nance said curtly. “I will not have one of those braided spies who work for the hospital trustees killing my patient! I’ll go sees he now,” he stormed, and stormed out of the room.

Sora: *long pause* ...Okay, I actually have no clue what I just read.
Wilykit: Spies have braids? I thought they had trench coats and neat hats.
Liz: Or fancy suits, ski masks and butterfly knives.

Margaret leaned against the wall and wept a sorrowing floodlike of tears.

Liz: Great sorrowing floodlikes of tears, Batman!

She knew Bruce would emerge from the fog of the painkillers and he would recognize her.

Liz: *singing* He...is...the Painkiller, this...is...the Painkiller~

What if he told someone about that night at the prom?

Sora: Well then she’d get arrested!
Wilykit: Good! He shouldn’t feel ashamed of the fact that he was taken advantage of like that! It’s not his fault!

All her life Margaret had worked hard, harder than anyone else. Her sisters, all of them far more beautiful than she, had coasted through life like a toboggan down the snow hill of life.

Sora: Before running into the maple tree of middle age. Or something.
Liz: Nah, they crashed into Calvin and Hobbes on their way up the hill.
Wilykit: Well, if Margaret’s face is carved from ice, then what if she’s really one of Calvin’s snow-golems?
Sora: Quick, someone get a hose and spray freezing water on her!

But Margaret had a vision at an early age, and knew she was meant to be a nurse.

Liz: *sings again* Exposition, exposition...
Sora: She’s found her place in the great Circle of Health Care!
Wilykit: *sings* And it moves us alllllll...

Her mother had scorned her. Her father had laughed at her.

Liz: Because being a nurse is SUCH a scorned profession.
Wilykit: It is when you’re working at a hospital with a no-bra and high heels dress code.
Liz: Clearly she should’ve taken that job at St. Clouds.

So she put herself through nursing school by waiting tables at a low dive at night. Five long years she toiled, with never a day off, not even at Christmas, just so she could walk out with her head held high, and her degree in hand.

Once, just once, she had strayed from the path of hard work.

Sora: And stepped on the landmine of procrastination!

Just once she’d let herself relax. Do her cousin Ted a favor. Go as his date to the prom.

Liz: And the moral is: relaxation leads to pedophilia.
Sora: ...I don’t like that moral.
Wilykit: How about: it doesn’t matter how hard you try, because your destiny is in the hands of shadowy hospital bigwigs anyway?

Well, she’d learned her lesson--she thought. She never thought she’d see Bruce Lucent again, but now, here, the cruelty of the fates laughed at her, just like her family.

Liz: When even the fates are laughing at your profession, then maybe it’s time to go back to school.

Bruce Lucent was here, helpless, in her hospital, and it was only a matter of time before he remembered who she was, and what would he do then?

Sora: *groans* Probably just stare at her boobs.
Liz: Or complain about the thing in his dick...
Sora: *makes a pained face again*

She wept even harder.

Liz: Clearly they’re talking about me. *starts to get up* Think it’s too much to ask the Mads for a story that won’t make me nauseous next time?
Wilykit: *groans* So, this is what you guys have to go through every week up here?
Liz: Eeeeyup. I mean, at least Eye of Argon was funny...
Sora: Yeah. This one was mostly just kinda gross.