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itsjustagamerp2012-07-22 05:50 pm
itsjustthemads) wrote in itsjustagamerp2012-07-22 05:50 pm
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Experiment #23 - Atlanta Nights - Chapter 6
Atlanta Nights - Chapter 6
By Travis Tea
Bruce rubbed the thick foam collar around his neck with his good hand. The stupid thing itched badly and he knew it looked darkies
Twilight: *This face. This face forever*
Terra: *is sitting with a small, white, dry-erase board and a marker. He scribbles* “What?”
Twilight: *grabs his marker with her hoof - don’t ask - and responds* “WAS THAT A RACIAL SLUR?”
Harvey: *shrugs?*
Terra: *grabs back marker, frowning as if to say ‘get your own, this is going to be difficult enough to riff if we’re stealing markers’* “I don’t think so...?”
Twilight: *the look on her face means it BETTER not be. And she gallops to the back of the theatre to retrieve the Bury Dead Guy Here sign, then shakes her head and tosses it aside. She disappears for a second - then comes back, pushing a full-sized whiteboard for a classroom, with several different colors of markers in its tray.*
Harvey: *nabs a marker*
but the surgeon had insisted that he must ware it constantly for the next month or suffer the consequence.
Twilight: *...and now to this face. This is going to break her*
Terra: *writes on the board* “Ware? Tupper or soft?”
At least it kept his neck warm in the frigid air conditioning in this restraint.
Twilight: *...sketches a quick picture*
He followed Isaac Stevens who followed the waiter around past the side entrance and between tables and a booth at the back. Bruce stomped his cane down on a lady’s foot at one of the tables and she swore at him: “Damn stupid gimp! Whence watch out were yes going’ with that damnable misbegotten whoreson stupid cane you dam adjt.!”
Terra: *writing* “. . .No, seriously, what? :(“
Twilight: *This look.*
“Gaseous, you old bat!” he howled. “Watch your own feet and keep them out of the way so I don’t trip over them! Don’t you know who I am?
Terra: *writing* “No”
Harvey: “Don’t think I want to.”
Give me any more trouble and I’ll have your ass arrested so far your false teeth will pop out of your head!”
Terra: *writing* “. . .So fast you mean?” *he frowns*
Terra: *erases, writes again* “What?”
Twilight: *scribbles stick figures*
“He needs Pinkie.”
Harvey: *thinks for a second, then points at the ceiling the way Linkara does*
Three waiters hurried over. “I’m so sorry Mr. lucent” they sniveled. One of them turned on the old lady and shouted “Backs off, you! That’s Mr. Lucent and he owns half this town!”
Terra: *writes* “But apparently no one owns a dictionary or grammar textbook.”
Twilight: *immediately* “LEAVE THEO AND DAN ALONE THEY’VE SUFFERED ENOUGH!”
Terra: *draws* ?
Twilight: *This face.* “They” *erase* “Have” *erase* “Suffered” *erase* “Enough.” *...erase*
Terra: . . . *scoots away from Twilight* o__o
Another waiter spoke up and yelled “Why he owns more than half of this here Trotters Corners and that’s a fact!” They gathered around her and knocked her out of her chair, then kicked her a few times to teach her a lesson.
Twilight: *HORROR*
Terra: O__o *writes* WHA- *sighs, scribbles that out and writes* “I give up.”
Harvey: “THAT’LL teach her to show some compassion for the injured...oh wait.”
Bruce limped on after Stevens, leaving the waiters to handle the woman. It was stupid people like that who had inspired him to climb to the top.
Twilight: *GLARE. Scribbles:*
He didn’t ever want to be stuck with riffraff like that so he had used the computer skills he had learned from cracking play station games and writing viruses on the internet
Terra: *writes* “I’m not that familiar with technology...but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works...at all.”
to build his company to a person was today. A giant among software development companies! Not bad for a guy just out of his teens.
Terra: *writes* “Company =/= Person”
Harvey: “Unless you’re the Supreme Court.”
Terra: *erases, then writes* “At this rate, I think we’d prefer Skynet.”
Twilight:
“He’s not as smart as he thinks he is.”
He bumped another table with the cast on his leg but the people there cringed. “Sorry Mr. Lucent” one declaimed “I hope that didn’t hurt you.”
Twilight: *Frown of Common Sense* “If you have that much trouble moving around you shouldn’t go somewhere you’re constantly banging into stuff!”
Harvey: “Don’t you know who he is? They oughta be rebuilding the restaurant to suit him.”
“No” he offered magnanimously, “I’m okay.” He limped across to their booth and slid in across from Stevens. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?” he growled.
“Let’s have a drink first and get something to eat” soothed Isaac. “That dumb old lady
Twilight: *kicks a barrage of markers at the screen*
seems to have upset you so let’s relax for a while and then we’ll talk about business.”
“Suits Me Fine” offered Bruce. He turned to the waiter. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple Screwdriver with absolute vodka on the rocks.” “Yes sir!” exclaimed the waiter. “And you, Mr. Stevens?”
Twilight: “ENOUGH” *disappears again - and returns dragging a stepstool. Sets it up in front of the screen and climbs up with a red pen, clearly intent on proofreading THIS ENTIRE THING*
Terra: *eyebrow raise, then writes* “Twilight! No! It’s not worth it!”
Harvey: “This ain’t gonna end well.”
Terra: *writes, shows to Harvey* “For her or the script?”
Twilight: *flicks her tail -
“Spays burn [what is that], on the rocks, with a little Pepsi. A good single-malt needs a little sweetening.”
“I prefer Mountain Dew with my single-malts[insert comma]” quipped Bruce. “Or maybe prune juice. It’s more natural somehow.”
“My daughter, Irene, likes it with root beer, but she’s a little weird,” Chuckled [no capitalization] Stevens.
Terra: *writes* “I prefer my dialogue not to be so pointless.”
Harvey: “I prefer my drinks without prunes.” *fishes a flask out of his jacket and takes a swig*
He rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs [back not backs] his close-trimmed hair. [quotation mark] I heard about your accident at the Polo Club. Guesses [no -es] you’re lucky to be alive. Henry Archer went off the road on the same curve a few nights later in his Humvee [comma when following with another subject] but he didn’t survive. The cops said someone had dumped a bunch of used oil on the shoulder near there. That might have been what got you and Henry.”
Terra: *draws a picture*
Twilight: *stops proofreading to blink* “Wait - the oil WASN’T on the road?”
“Could be? I was only doing 95 [write out numbers that low]
Terra: *cues this clip:*
Harvey: “Too bad he still needed roads.”
Terra: *writes* “Not even time travel could save this thing.”
Harvey: “Unless you wiped the author from existence, maybe.”
Terra: *writes* “Find me a Delorean or a TARDIS and I’ll get right on that” :|
but I slid right off when I got there. Had to throw away the boxer shorts I was wearing.
Terra: *winces, looks a little sick*
Harvey: “Too much information.”
Twilight: “...Ewwwww.”
They were nice ones, too. Glow in the dark green with luscious red lips printed all over them.
Twilight: *FACEHOOF*
Terra: *writes* “And Rarity says my sense of fashion is bad.”
Harvey: “TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION.”
I miss those shorts[comma]” whined Bruce. He scratched at his crotch where the leg cast rubbed and itched.
Harvey: “Charming. Why am I here again?”
Terra: *writes* “Because we drew the short straw this time?”
Twilight: “I think I’m too young for this. I think ALL of us are too young for this.”
Harvey: *takes another draw from his flask*
The waiter returned with their drinks. He set them down and then set a big foaming mug of beer in front of each of them as well. “Compliments of the house, sirs. Mr. Gronomon said you two looked a little thirsty.”
Twilight: *...headtilt* “What sort of name is THAT even for you humans?”
Terra: *writes* I think it’s the name of a Digimon...
Twilight: “Those things we were all turned into?”
Terra: . . . *writes* “Sort of....just don’t tell fans that.”
“Great! [no space] “[space]Said Isaac. [quotation mark]Nothing like a cold frosty mug of heavy dark beer to go with my single malt. Helps wash away the taste.”
Terra: *writes and shows Harvey* “Should we stop her from doing that?”
Harvey: ...”You wanna try, kid, be my guest. I’m done messing with these ponies.”
Terra: *eyes Twilight, SIGHS*
“What will you gentlemen have for lunch? [no space]“[space, no capitalization]Quarried [queried not quarried] the waiter? [period not question mark]
Terra: *gets up, knocks on the bottom rung of the ladder to get Twilight’s attention, holds up board* “Twilight. I think that’s enough...”
Twilight: *looks down. Do you like this look, Terra? Because that’s what you’re getting.*
Terra: *doesn’t back down just yet, but no, he doesn’t like that look. Writes again* “Twilight this story is going to last a lot longer than you will.”
Twilight: “I CAN DO IT” *adds a couple of slashing underlines beneath the words to emphasize*
Terra: *shakes head and returns to seat. He might try again later.*
Harvey: *pats Terra on the shoulder* “Nice try.”
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs [no -s for Celestia’s sake!] his close trimmed [needs a hyphen] hair.
Terra: *writes* “Woah. Deja vu”
“Let[apostrophe]s start with pate de foie gras and caviar and a basket of crackers to spread them on. Triscuits, wheat thins [capitalize], stuff like that. And some stuffed mushrooms and truffles on the side. And a couple of triple thick chocolate mocha latte [needs to be plural] to drink.” He might be 50 [spell. out. numbers.] now but he could still pack it away. Nothing that a few good rounds of racquet ball and polo wouldn’t burn back off. Too bad Bruce was all knocked up.
Terra: *writes* “He’s WHAT?”
Harvey: “And he’s drinking?”
Twilight: “...Biological impossibility noted. Proceed to observe anomaly from a distance and determine if of alien origin or perhaps amoeba-like.”
Bruce had such a studly body, rock0-hard [get rid of random 0] abs and massive shoulders from working out and weight lifting, but he was starting to get just a little pudgy since the accident. Isaac had seen him in the locker room at the gym. Kid was pretty well hung, too.
Twilight: *yeah this about sums it up*
Terra: >___< *writes* “Why are you telling us this?”
Harvey: “Sounds like someone’s got a little crush here.”
Probably had chicks throwing themselves at him all the time. He’d better stay away from Isaac’s daughter, Irene Stevens, though! Kid was making a lot of money with his software development company, too, and Isaac wanted a piece of that.
Harvey: “You sure it’s the money you want?”
If he could buy his way in now, he might be sitting really pretty in a few more years.
“I’d like some artichoke hearts and pickled eggs, too[comma]” mused Bruce lucent[struck through].
Twilight: “Stop repeating the last names! It sounds awful!”
“And make sure there’s plenty of whipped cream on my latte.”
Harvey: “I bet that ain’t the only place you want some.”
“Yes[comma] Sir[no capitalization]!” exclaimed the waiter. He hurried off to do their bidding in the kitchen.
Bruce rubbed his rock-hard abs. I’m getting a little pudgy with all this inactivity since the accident he mused. [Inner thoughts need to be italicized.]
Harvey: “Really. I hadn’t heard.”
I’ll have to really work to get back in shape once I’m better. A good thing that shrapnel just nicked my thigh rather than cutting a little higher or I might be singing a little higher.
Terra: *writes* “Or dead”
Wouldn’t want to? [no question mark no capitalization] Disappoint the ladies.
Terra: *writes* “If he was the one wearing those boxers earlier...I don’t think that’s the only thing they’ll be disappointed in.”
Harvey: “Impossible pregnancies don’t look good either.”
Terra: *writes* “Or beating up old ladies”
Harvey: “Is there even one good thing about this lug?”
Terra: *pauses to think about this...and think about this...and think about this...finally he writes* “No.”
Twilight: *adds another frowny spikey-toothed face. There’s now a row of them all over the white board*
The sunlight was very warm on his face and side from the window and he wondered if he was going to start sweating. Fire and ice he thought to himself.
Harvey: “...watch out, you two. I think our friend here’s trying to be deep.”
Twilight: *rolls her eyes* “He’s as deep as a puddle.”
Too cold air-conditioning and too hot sun. I’m being frozen on one side and roasted on the other. I’ll be shivering and sweating at the same time. Isaac will think I’ve got a fever. Fire and ice, ice cream and jalapeno,
Terra: *writes* “Not as different as you might think.” *holds up a picture of jalapeno ice cream
Twilight: *...scrolls back up, starts counting. Returns to the same point and adds a tally in the corner of the white board*
FIRE AND ICE (or close approximations) COUNT: 6
ice water and steam, cold and hot, freezing on one side and roasting on the other. He fled [felt] uncomfortable, like he had the flu and had [don’t need another had] a fever.
Terra: *writes* “So, what you’re saying is, you’re hot AND cold?”
Twilight: “He’s yes and he’s no?”
Harvey: “He’s in then he’s out.”
Terra: *writes* “He’s up and he’s down.”
Twilight: “He’s wrong when he’s right.”
Harvey: “...he’s ALWAYS wrong. Always.”
Twilight: *shakes her head vigorously in agreement*
“It’s kind of chilly in here,” commiserated Isaac. “How come you look so hot?”
“It’s this sunlight,[quotation mark] groaned Bruce, “I’m boiling on one side and freezing on the other.”
FIRE AND ICE (or close approximations) COUNT: 6 11
The waiter brought their appetizers and set them in front of them [use “the food” instead of the first “them.” Too confusing when using the same word to refer to two different things]. “More beer,[question mark not comma]” he queried?[period not question mark.] “It’s on the house.”
“Sure[comma]” quipped Bruce and Isaac together. The waiter refilled their mugs.
“Hot enough for you?” he quipped?[period not question mark]
Terra: *writes* “No, it needs to be about 20% hotter”
Twilight: “If only Rainbow Dash were here.”
“Yes,” shivered Bruce. [quotation mark]I’m boiling on one side and freezing on the other.”
“Like Fire [no capitalization] and ice.”
FIRE AND ICE (or close approximations) COUNT: 11 13
Terra: *writes* “Dear Author, Stop reminding us of a better series we could be reading right now because it is not helping. No Love, Terra.”
Twilight: *doubletakes, strikes through the last set of lines and adds in the margin* REPETITION DOESN’T GET YOU ANYWHERE
“Try the cold beer,” offered the waiter. “That should help you cool down some.”
Terra: *Cues this song*
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
Harvey: “Do we need to start another count for that?”
Twilight: *adds one*
STUPID HAIR PHRASE COUNT: 3
“Here’s to further success with your company,” he enjoined [I do not think that word means what you think it means.]. Bruce returned the toast and they clanged their frosty mugs of dark beer together, than swilled large mouthfuls down.” [no quotation mark]
“Ahhh...,[no comma]” declaimed [exclaimed not declaimed] Bruce, “That was good. Cold.”
Harvey: “And hot?”
Twilight: *...flicks tail?* Some might question her musical taste
They tucked into the appetizers. There was pate de foie gras and caviar and stuffed mushrooms and truffles and artichoke hearts and pickled eggs and crackers and they washed it all down with cold frosty dark beer in foamy mugs and sipped their latte. [WHERE ARE YOUR COMMAS THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH IS HORRIBLE]
Terra: *writes* “Do these foods really belong together?”
Harvey: “They definitely don’t bear repeating.”
Twilight: “I don’t think any of that’s meat and it doesn’t sound good even to me.”
“Aaaah...” exclaimed Bruce, “That was really good. How about some real food now?”
Terra: *writes* Were they eating fake, plastic food before?
Twilight: “There’s six or seven things in that list and they’re STILL HUNGRY? They’re mutated horrible versions of PINKIE PIE!”
Harvey: “If you break a promise around them, do they devour you whole?”
Twilight: “THEY JUST MIGHT!”
“Oh, yes,” agreed Isaac[comma, space]”[no space] some real food would really hit the spot now. Waiter, I’d like a half pound of rare T-bone steak smothered in mushrooms and onions and a baked potato with cheese and sour cream and bacon bits and steamed baby carrots and corn on the cob.” [COMMAS EXIST USE THEM]
“Yes[comma] sir!” exclaimed the waiter. “And you[comma] Mr. Lucent?”
“I’ll have a roasted chicken stuffed with truffle and cranberry dressing, a baked potato with butter and sour cream, and a side of some baby back ribs.”
Harvey: *starts idly drawing pig noses on all of Twilight’s stick figures*
Terra: *writes* “WHAT RESTAURANT IS THIS?!”
Twilight: !!!!!!!!!!! *unintentionally gives a sound cue as she scrambles around and basically falls off the ladder, running back to hop up and down in front of Terra and Harvey and speaking a mile a minute even though she can’t make any sound*
Terra: *writes* “I warned you.”
Twilight: *has a multi-limbed spazz fit, runs over to the white board and erases EVERYTHING (except the counts). VERY BIG LETTERS*
I KNOW WHO WROTE THIS!!!!! IT CAN’T BE ANYONE ELSE!!!!! IT WAS DISCORD!!!!!
“Yes Sir!” he declaimed and hurried off to the kitchen.
Bruce scratched at his neck brace. “Who was that babe I saw you with at the party last week?” he simpered.
Terra: *writes* I’m going to need a neck brace at this rate. I think I just got conversation whiplash.
Twilight: “Of course you did, it’s Discord!”
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
STUPID HAIR PHRASE COUNT: 4
“That was my daughter, Irene Stevens. She came to the party with me.”
“Your daughter?” inquired Bruce? “Wow. She was really hot. I’d surely like to get to know her better.”
Harvey: “Damn, he’s in for it now.”
“Well, countered Isaac, “That might be arranged, as long as things go all right, you understand.”
Harvey: . . . *twitches*
Twilight: *absolutely. stock. still.*
Terra: *his head drops down...it looks like he might be sobbing the way his shoulders are shaking. he holds up his board* “WHHHHHYYYYYYY”
Harvey: *takes another long draw from flask*
Twilight: *might be repeating “no no no no no” with her currently non-existent voice*
“Cool,” quipped Bruce, who was feeling hot on one side and cold on the other. “Fire and ice.”
Terra: *writes* “Here we go again.”
FIRE AND ICE (or close approximations) COUNT: 13 15
Bruce wanted to get out of all these casts and things first, though. And to get all his stitches out. Or maybe not. She might feel compassionate toward him if she saw him this way first and that could lead to more passionate fun later. What a hot babe! He could hardly wait to see her with her clothes off.
Terra: *writes* “Stop, just, stop”
Twilight: *absolutely lineface* “Since Rarity isn’t here, I’ll say it: that is no way to think of a lady.”
They’d start slow, maybe a game of strip poker or something classy like that
Twilight: “That is not classy!”
Harvey: “That is no way to treat a dame on a first date.”
and then once they were ready they could go right for the brass ring.
Terra: *writes, larger this time* STOP!
His slacks tightened and he winced as one of his stitches pulled out.
Terra: *writes* S-T-O-P
Twilight: “THAT IS NOT CLASSY EITHER”
Harvey: *turns to Terra* “Okay, we gotta get the pony out of here.”
Terra: *writes back* I need to get out of here.
Bruce rubbed his throbbing crotch where the cast rubbed and the stitch had pulled out and his pants were too tight now.
Terra: *throws board and marker away, goes back to hiding his head in his hands and just HE QUITS OKAY*
Twilight: “YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON” *are those flames in her eyes? They might be...*
Harvey: . . . *leans back* “Okay, let’s just calm down here...”
“So, “ he inquired? “What did you want to talk about?”
Terra: *leaves the room, comes back with a table, flips it, sits back down with his arms crossed.*
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
STUPID HAIR PHRASE COUNT: 5
Twilight: “THAT PHRASE IS HORRIBLE AND NEEDS TO DIE!”
“Well,” he countered. “You’ve been very successful with your software company and I’d like to talk about that. I really admire a successful man who makes a lot of money and you’re one. Especially as young as you are, to be so successful and making so much money, if you know what I mean. I admire that.”
Twilight: “YOU MEAN YOU ARE AN OILY CROOK WHO JUST WANTS TO BE FILTHY RICH, NEVER MIND THAT FILTHY RICH IS ACTUALLY A VERY NICE STALLION YOU DON’T DESERVE TO HAVE HIS NAME”
Harvey: “Sounds like HE’S the one who who wants to be...gettin’ to know this guy better. Leave the girl outta it.”
“Yes,” agreed Bruce. “I am doing rather well and I enjoy making money. Not the money so much as all the things it can buy. All the wonderful things I can do with it. I own half of this town, Trotter’s Corner, now and someday I’d like to own half of Atlanta itself. First I’m going to name this town, though. I’m going to name it Lucentville! Do you hear that everyone? This town is now Lucentville! And someday Atlanta will be named Lucent City!”
Terra: *suddenly pops up, scrambles for board and writes* “I FIGURED IT OUT! LUCENT, rearrange and replace the letters and what do you get?”
Terra: *erases and writes the following* “LUCENT - LUENCT - LUNECT - LUNACY”
Terra: *looks half-crazed. WHAT HAS THIS CHAPTER DONE TO HIM?*
Twilight: “IT’S - DISCORD - WHAT - DO - YOU - EXPECT”
Terra: *Silence and then he just goes back to that “slumped shoulders, head in hands, sobbing” position. He needs a moment.*
Harvey: *Just. Offers handkerchief.*
Everybody cheered and the waiter brought their food. “More Beer,” he carried? “It’s on the house! .”
TWILIGHT: *SILENT SCREAAAAAAAAAM* “THEY’RE - ALL - BRAINWASHED!”
Twilight: “BRAINWASHING! THERE IS OBVIOUS BRAINWASHING! THIS CAN’T BE ANYTHING ELSE!”
Twilight: *those flames are definitely there and burning brighter* “THERE - WILL - BE - JUSTICE”
“Sure!” they quipped and dug into their food.
“Well,” chewed Stevens around his steak and potatoes and onions and mushrooms and corn on the cob, “I’d like to invest in your company. I’d like to give you a lot of money so that I can have a part of your company and I’ll introduce you to Irene, too.”
Terra: *takes a breath, composes self. He’s fine. He’ll be okay*
Bruce scratched at his neck brace. “Well,” he gobbled pas this roast chicken and ribs, “That sounds quite decent of you. I think I’d like that. And I’m especially looking forward to getting to know Irene Stevens better, if you know what I mean.”
Terra: *writes* “I don’t want to know what you mean...not any more.”
Twilight: *...that’s it. COMBUSTION TIME!*
Terra: *jumps because OH CRAP FLAMING PONY*
Harvey: *jumps and instinctively throws remaining contents of flask on Twilight*
Twilight: *IT IS ALCOHOL SO ONLY BURNS MORE! IS ALSO SCREAMING A MILE A MINUTE! SILENTLY!*
Harvey: *OH GOD THE HORROR*
Terra: O___O *runs off, returns with fire extinguisher, puts out Twilight*
Twilight: *BURN BURN RANT RANT RANT BURN BUR- OH SHIT*
Twilight: *falls to the ground, singed and unkempt, her eyes swirling in her head*
Harvey: *slooooowly leans down and drapes his jacket over Twilight* “There. Eeeeveryone’s calm now. Deep breaths.”
Terra: *deep breath* “We’re almost done. Let’s just end this before anyone else spontaneously combusts.”
Twilight: *if they’re good at pony lip reading they’ll be able to tell she’s saying something about ice cream and a balloon with a smiley face on it*
Wow, she was hot! Fire and ice! They devoured their food and drank more toasts from tall, foamy mugs of ice cold veer. “To Lucentville!”
FIRE AND ICE (or close approximations) COUNT: 15 17
“To Lucent Software Development Corp.!”
“To Irene Stevens!”
Twilight: *...twitch and a small poof of flame at the end of her tail*
“To Life!”
Terra: *writes* “TO THE END OF THIS HORROR!”
“Fire and ice!”
Harvey: *throws empty flask at screen* “STOP. SAYING. THAT!”
At last they finished their meals. Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt bear,
Terra: *writes* EXIT! PURSUED BY BEAR! *can you tell he wants this to end already?*
Twilight: “DON’T DRAG THE BARD INTO THIS!”
then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
STUPID HAIR PHRASE COUNT: 6
“How about some desert?” inquired Isaac.
Twilight: “YES EAT SAND GET AWAY FROM US!”
Bruce rubbed his throbbing crotch
Terra: *throws board at screen again*
Harvey: *buries head in hands*
Twilight: *grabs onto all four of their legs and sobs*
where the cast rubbed against it and his stitch had pulled out and his pants were swollen with lust.
“Dessert would be great!” declaimed Bruce. “I’m famished! .”
Fire and ice.
FIRE AND ICE (or close approximations) COUNT: 17 18
Terra: *writes* “Robert Frost is wishing the world would end in both ways now I think.”
Twilight: “Give me my magic back and I’ll MAKE it happen.”
Harvey: “Give ME a name and address, and I’ll get down to the time machine and fix this.”
Twilight: “DIS-CORD. GET ME TO EQUESTRIA.”
Terra: “Just get ME out of here.” *he rubs at his temples because his head is pounding.*
By Travis Tea
Bruce rubbed the thick foam collar around his neck with his good hand. The stupid thing itched badly and he knew it looked darkies
Twilight: *This face. This face forever*
Terra: *is sitting with a small, white, dry-erase board and a marker. He scribbles* “What?”
Twilight: *grabs his marker with her hoof - don’t ask - and responds* “WAS THAT A RACIAL SLUR?”
Harvey: *shrugs?*
Terra: *grabs back marker, frowning as if to say ‘get your own, this is going to be difficult enough to riff if we’re stealing markers’* “I don’t think so...?”
Twilight: *the look on her face means it BETTER not be. And she gallops to the back of the theatre to retrieve the Bury Dead Guy Here sign, then shakes her head and tosses it aside. She disappears for a second - then comes back, pushing a full-sized whiteboard for a classroom, with several different colors of markers in its tray.*
Harvey: *nabs a marker*
but the surgeon had insisted that he must ware it constantly for the next month or suffer the consequence.
Twilight: *...and now to this face. This is going to break her*
Terra: *writes on the board* “Ware? Tupper or soft?”
At least it kept his neck warm in the frigid air conditioning in this restraint.
Twilight: *...sketches a quick picture*
He followed Isaac Stevens who followed the waiter around past the side entrance and between tables and a booth at the back. Bruce stomped his cane down on a lady’s foot at one of the tables and she swore at him: “Damn stupid gimp! Whence watch out were yes going’ with that damnable misbegotten whoreson stupid cane you dam adjt.!”
Terra: *writing* “. . .No, seriously, what? :(“
Twilight: *This look.*
“Gaseous, you old bat!” he howled. “Watch your own feet and keep them out of the way so I don’t trip over them! Don’t you know who I am?
Terra: *writing* “No”
Harvey: “Don’t think I want to.”
Give me any more trouble and I’ll have your ass arrested so far your false teeth will pop out of your head!”
Terra: *writing* “. . .So fast you mean?” *he frowns*
Terra: *erases, writes again* “What?”
Twilight: *scribbles stick figures*
“He needs Pinkie.”
Harvey: *thinks for a second, then points at the ceiling the way Linkara does*
Three waiters hurried over. “I’m so sorry Mr. lucent” they sniveled. One of them turned on the old lady and shouted “Backs off, you! That’s Mr. Lucent and he owns half this town!”
Terra: *writes* “But apparently no one owns a dictionary or grammar textbook.”
Twilight: *immediately* “LEAVE THEO AND DAN ALONE THEY’VE SUFFERED ENOUGH!”
Terra: *draws* ?
Twilight: *This face.* “They” *erase* “Have” *erase* “Suffered” *erase* “Enough.” *...erase*
Terra: . . . *scoots away from Twilight* o__o
Another waiter spoke up and yelled “Why he owns more than half of this here Trotters Corners and that’s a fact!” They gathered around her and knocked her out of her chair, then kicked her a few times to teach her a lesson.
Twilight: *HORROR*
Terra: O__o *writes* WHA- *sighs, scribbles that out and writes* “I give up.”
Harvey: “THAT’LL teach her to show some compassion for the injured...oh wait.”
Bruce limped on after Stevens, leaving the waiters to handle the woman. It was stupid people like that who had inspired him to climb to the top.
Twilight: *GLARE. Scribbles:*
He didn’t ever want to be stuck with riffraff like that so he had used the computer skills he had learned from cracking play station games and writing viruses on the internet
Terra: *writes* “I’m not that familiar with technology...but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works...at all.”
to build his company to a person was today. A giant among software development companies! Not bad for a guy just out of his teens.
Terra: *writes* “Company =/= Person”
Harvey: “Unless you’re the Supreme Court.”
Terra: *erases, then writes* “At this rate, I think we’d prefer Skynet.”
Twilight:
“He’s not as smart as he thinks he is.”He bumped another table with the cast on his leg but the people there cringed. “Sorry Mr. Lucent” one declaimed “I hope that didn’t hurt you.”
Twilight: *Frown of Common Sense* “If you have that much trouble moving around you shouldn’t go somewhere you’re constantly banging into stuff!”
Harvey: “Don’t you know who he is? They oughta be rebuilding the restaurant to suit him.”
“No” he offered magnanimously, “I’m okay.” He limped across to their booth and slid in across from Stevens. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?” he growled.
“Let’s have a drink first and get something to eat” soothed Isaac. “That dumb old lady
Twilight: *kicks a barrage of markers at the screen*
seems to have upset you so let’s relax for a while and then we’ll talk about business.”
“Suits Me Fine” offered Bruce. He turned to the waiter. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple Screwdriver with absolute vodka on the rocks.” “Yes sir!” exclaimed the waiter. “And you, Mr. Stevens?”
Twilight: “ENOUGH” *disappears again - and returns dragging a stepstool. Sets it up in front of the screen and climbs up with a red pen, clearly intent on proofreading THIS ENTIRE THING*
Terra: *eyebrow raise, then writes* “Twilight! No! It’s not worth it!”
Harvey: “This ain’t gonna end well.”
Terra: *writes, shows to Harvey* “For her or the script?”
Twilight: *flicks her tail -
“Spays burn [what is that], on the rocks, with a little Pepsi. A good single-malt needs a little sweetening.”
“I prefer Mountain Dew with my single-malts[insert comma]” quipped Bruce. “Or maybe prune juice. It’s more natural somehow.”
“My daughter, Irene, likes it with root beer, but she’s a little weird,” Chuckled [no capitalization] Stevens.
Terra: *writes* “I prefer my dialogue not to be so pointless.”
Harvey: “I prefer my drinks without prunes.” *fishes a flask out of his jacket and takes a swig*
He rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs [back not backs] his close-trimmed hair. [quotation mark] I heard about your accident at the Polo Club. Guesses [no -es] you’re lucky to be alive. Henry Archer went off the road on the same curve a few nights later in his Humvee [comma when following with another subject] but he didn’t survive. The cops said someone had dumped a bunch of used oil on the shoulder near there. That might have been what got you and Henry.”
Terra: *draws a picture*
Twilight: *stops proofreading to blink* “Wait - the oil WASN’T on the road?”
“Could be? I was only doing 95 [write out numbers that low]
Terra: *cues this clip:*
Harvey: “Too bad he still needed roads.”
Terra: *writes* “Not even time travel could save this thing.”
Harvey: “Unless you wiped the author from existence, maybe.”
Terra: *writes* “Find me a Delorean or a TARDIS and I’ll get right on that” :|
but I slid right off when I got there. Had to throw away the boxer shorts I was wearing.
Terra: *winces, looks a little sick*
Harvey: “Too much information.”
Twilight: “...Ewwwww.”
They were nice ones, too. Glow in the dark green with luscious red lips printed all over them.
Twilight: *FACEHOOF*
Terra: *writes* “And Rarity says my sense of fashion is bad.”
Harvey: “TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION.”
I miss those shorts[comma]” whined Bruce. He scratched at his crotch where the leg cast rubbed and itched.
Harvey: “Charming. Why am I here again?”
Terra: *writes* “Because we drew the short straw this time?”
Twilight: “I think I’m too young for this. I think ALL of us are too young for this.”
Harvey: *takes another draw from his flask*
The waiter returned with their drinks. He set them down and then set a big foaming mug of beer in front of each of them as well. “Compliments of the house, sirs. Mr. Gronomon said you two looked a little thirsty.”
Twilight: *...headtilt* “What sort of name is THAT even for you humans?”
Terra: *writes* I think it’s the name of a Digimon...
Twilight: “Those things we were all turned into?”
Terra: . . . *writes* “Sort of....just don’t tell fans that.”
“Great! [no space] “[space]Said Isaac. [quotation mark]Nothing like a cold frosty mug of heavy dark beer to go with my single malt. Helps wash away the taste.”
Terra: *writes and shows Harvey* “Should we stop her from doing that?”
Harvey: ...”You wanna try, kid, be my guest. I’m done messing with these ponies.”
Terra: *eyes Twilight, SIGHS*
“What will you gentlemen have for lunch? [no space]“[space, no capitalization]Quarried [queried not quarried] the waiter? [period not question mark]
Terra: *gets up, knocks on the bottom rung of the ladder to get Twilight’s attention, holds up board* “Twilight. I think that’s enough...”
Twilight: *looks down. Do you like this look, Terra? Because that’s what you’re getting.*
Terra: *doesn’t back down just yet, but no, he doesn’t like that look. Writes again* “Twilight this story is going to last a lot longer than you will.”
Twilight: “I CAN DO IT” *adds a couple of slashing underlines beneath the words to emphasize*
Terra: *shakes head and returns to seat. He might try again later.*
Harvey: *pats Terra on the shoulder* “Nice try.”
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs [no -s for Celestia’s sake!] his close trimmed [needs a hyphen] hair.
Terra: *writes* “Woah. Deja vu”
“Let[apostrophe]s start with pate de foie gras and caviar and a basket of crackers to spread them on. Triscuits, wheat thins [capitalize], stuff like that. And some stuffed mushrooms and truffles on the side. And a couple of triple thick chocolate mocha latte [needs to be plural] to drink.” He might be 50 [spell. out. numbers.] now but he could still pack it away. Nothing that a few good rounds of racquet ball and polo wouldn’t burn back off. Too bad Bruce was all knocked up.
Terra: *writes* “He’s WHAT?”
Harvey: “And he’s drinking?”
Twilight: “...Biological impossibility noted. Proceed to observe anomaly from a distance and determine if of alien origin or perhaps amoeba-like.”
Bruce had such a studly body, rock0-hard [get rid of random 0] abs and massive shoulders from working out and weight lifting, but he was starting to get just a little pudgy since the accident. Isaac had seen him in the locker room at the gym. Kid was pretty well hung, too.
Twilight: *yeah this about sums it up*
Terra: >___< *writes* “Why are you telling us this?”
Harvey: “Sounds like someone’s got a little crush here.”
Probably had chicks throwing themselves at him all the time. He’d better stay away from Isaac’s daughter, Irene Stevens, though! Kid was making a lot of money with his software development company, too, and Isaac wanted a piece of that.
Harvey: “You sure it’s the money you want?”
If he could buy his way in now, he might be sitting really pretty in a few more years.
“I’d like some artichoke hearts and pickled eggs, too[comma]” mused Bruce lucent[struck through].
Twilight: “Stop repeating the last names! It sounds awful!”
“And make sure there’s plenty of whipped cream on my latte.”
Harvey: “I bet that ain’t the only place you want some.”
“Yes[comma] Sir[no capitalization]!” exclaimed the waiter. He hurried off to do their bidding in the kitchen.
Bruce rubbed his rock-hard abs. I’m getting a little pudgy with all this inactivity since the accident he mused. [Inner thoughts need to be italicized.]
Harvey: “Really. I hadn’t heard.”
I’ll have to really work to get back in shape once I’m better. A good thing that shrapnel just nicked my thigh rather than cutting a little higher or I might be singing a little higher.
Terra: *writes* “Or dead”
Wouldn’t want to? [no question mark no capitalization] Disappoint the ladies.
Terra: *writes* “If he was the one wearing those boxers earlier...I don’t think that’s the only thing they’ll be disappointed in.”
Harvey: “Impossible pregnancies don’t look good either.”
Terra: *writes* “Or beating up old ladies”
Harvey: “Is there even one good thing about this lug?”
Terra: *pauses to think about this...and think about this...and think about this...finally he writes* “No.”
Twilight: *adds another frowny spikey-toothed face. There’s now a row of them all over the white board*
The sunlight was very warm on his face and side from the window and he wondered if he was going to start sweating. Fire and ice he thought to himself.
Harvey: “...watch out, you two. I think our friend here’s trying to be deep.”
Twilight: *rolls her eyes* “He’s as deep as a puddle.”
Too cold air-conditioning and too hot sun. I’m being frozen on one side and roasted on the other. I’ll be shivering and sweating at the same time. Isaac will think I’ve got a fever. Fire and ice, ice cream and jalapeno,
Terra: *writes* “Not as different as you might think.” *holds up a picture of jalapeno ice cream
Twilight: *...scrolls back up, starts counting. Returns to the same point and adds a tally in the corner of the white board*
ice water and steam, cold and hot, freezing on one side and roasting on the other. He fled [felt] uncomfortable, like he had the flu and had [don’t need another had] a fever.
Terra: *writes* “So, what you’re saying is, you’re hot AND cold?”
Twilight: “He’s yes and he’s no?”
Harvey: “He’s in then he’s out.”
Terra: *writes* “He’s up and he’s down.”
Twilight: “He’s wrong when he’s right.”
Harvey: “...he’s ALWAYS wrong. Always.”
Twilight: *shakes her head vigorously in agreement*
“It’s kind of chilly in here,” commiserated Isaac. “How come you look so hot?”
“It’s this sunlight,[quotation mark] groaned Bruce, “I’m boiling on one side and freezing on the other.”
The waiter brought their appetizers and set them in front of them [use “the food” instead of the first “them.” Too confusing when using the same word to refer to two different things]. “More beer,[question mark not comma]” he queried?[period not question mark.] “It’s on the house.”
“Sure[comma]” quipped Bruce and Isaac together. The waiter refilled their mugs.
“Hot enough for you?” he quipped?[period not question mark]
Terra: *writes* “No, it needs to be about 20% hotter”
Twilight: “If only Rainbow Dash were here.”
“Yes,” shivered Bruce. [quotation mark]I’m boiling on one side and freezing on the other.”
“Like Fire [no capitalization] and ice.”
Terra: *writes* “Dear Author, Stop reminding us of a better series we could be reading right now because it is not helping. No Love, Terra.”
Twilight: *doubletakes, strikes through the last set of lines and adds in the margin* REPETITION DOESN’T GET YOU ANYWHERE
“Try the cold beer,” offered the waiter. “That should help you cool down some.”
Terra: *Cues this song*
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
Harvey: “Do we need to start another count for that?”
Twilight: *adds one*
“Here’s to further success with your company,” he enjoined [I do not think that word means what you think it means.]. Bruce returned the toast and they clanged their frosty mugs of dark beer together, than swilled large mouthfuls down.” [no quotation mark]
“Ahhh...,[no comma]” declaimed [exclaimed not declaimed] Bruce, “That was good. Cold.”
Harvey: “And hot?”
Twilight: *...flicks tail?* Some might question her musical taste
They tucked into the appetizers. There was pate de foie gras and caviar and stuffed mushrooms and truffles and artichoke hearts and pickled eggs and crackers and they washed it all down with cold frosty dark beer in foamy mugs and sipped their latte. [WHERE ARE YOUR COMMAS THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH IS HORRIBLE]
Terra: *writes* “Do these foods really belong together?”
Harvey: “They definitely don’t bear repeating.”
Twilight: “I don’t think any of that’s meat and it doesn’t sound good even to me.”
“Aaaah...” exclaimed Bruce, “That was really good. How about some real food now?”
Terra: *writes* Were they eating fake, plastic food before?
Twilight: “There’s six or seven things in that list and they’re STILL HUNGRY? They’re mutated horrible versions of PINKIE PIE!”
Harvey: “If you break a promise around them, do they devour you whole?”
Twilight: “THEY JUST MIGHT!”
“Oh, yes,” agreed Isaac[comma, space]”[no space] some real food would really hit the spot now. Waiter, I’d like a half pound of rare T-bone steak smothered in mushrooms and onions and a baked potato with cheese and sour cream and bacon bits and steamed baby carrots and corn on the cob.” [COMMAS EXIST USE THEM]
“Yes[comma] sir!” exclaimed the waiter. “And you[comma] Mr. Lucent?”
“I’ll have a roasted chicken stuffed with truffle and cranberry dressing, a baked potato with butter and sour cream, and a side of some baby back ribs.”
Harvey: *starts idly drawing pig noses on all of Twilight’s stick figures*
Terra: *writes* “WHAT RESTAURANT IS THIS?!”
Twilight: !!!!!!!!!!! *unintentionally gives a sound cue as she scrambles around and basically falls off the ladder, running back to hop up and down in front of Terra and Harvey and speaking a mile a minute even though she can’t make any sound*
Terra: *writes* “I warned you.”
Twilight: *has a multi-limbed spazz fit, runs over to the white board and erases EVERYTHING (except the counts). VERY BIG LETTERS*
I KNOW WHO WROTE THIS!!!!! IT CAN’T BE ANYONE ELSE!!!!! IT WAS DISCORD!!!!!
“Yes Sir!” he declaimed and hurried off to the kitchen.
Bruce scratched at his neck brace. “Who was that babe I saw you with at the party last week?” he simpered.
Terra: *writes* I’m going to need a neck brace at this rate. I think I just got conversation whiplash.
Twilight: “Of course you did, it’s Discord!”
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
“That was my daughter, Irene Stevens. She came to the party with me.”
“Your daughter?” inquired Bruce? “Wow. She was really hot. I’d surely like to get to know her better.”
Harvey: “Damn, he’s in for it now.”
“Well, countered Isaac, “That might be arranged, as long as things go all right, you understand.”
Harvey: . . . *twitches*
Twilight: *absolutely. stock. still.*
Terra: *his head drops down...it looks like he might be sobbing the way his shoulders are shaking. he holds up his board* “WHHHHHYYYYYYY”
Harvey: *takes another long draw from flask*
Twilight: *might be repeating “no no no no no” with her currently non-existent voice*
“Cool,” quipped Bruce, who was feeling hot on one side and cold on the other. “Fire and ice.”
Terra: *writes* “Here we go again.”
Bruce wanted to get out of all these casts and things first, though. And to get all his stitches out. Or maybe not. She might feel compassionate toward him if she saw him this way first and that could lead to more passionate fun later. What a hot babe! He could hardly wait to see her with her clothes off.
Terra: *writes* “Stop, just, stop”
Twilight: *absolutely lineface* “Since Rarity isn’t here, I’ll say it: that is no way to think of a lady.”
They’d start slow, maybe a game of strip poker or something classy like that
Twilight: “That is not classy!”
Harvey: “That is no way to treat a dame on a first date.”
and then once they were ready they could go right for the brass ring.
Terra: *writes, larger this time* STOP!
His slacks tightened and he winced as one of his stitches pulled out.
Terra: *writes* S-T-O-P
Twilight: “THAT IS NOT CLASSY EITHER”
Harvey: *turns to Terra* “Okay, we gotta get the pony out of here.”
Terra: *writes back* I need to get out of here.
Bruce rubbed his throbbing crotch where the cast rubbed and the stitch had pulled out and his pants were too tight now.
Terra: *throws board and marker away, goes back to hiding his head in his hands and just HE QUITS OKAY*
Twilight: “YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON” *are those flames in her eyes? They might be...*
Harvey: . . . *leans back* “Okay, let’s just calm down here...”
“So, “ he inquired? “What did you want to talk about?”
Terra: *leaves the room, comes back with a table, flips it, sits back down with his arms crossed.*
Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt beard, then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
Twilight: “THAT PHRASE IS HORRIBLE AND NEEDS TO DIE!”
“Well,” he countered. “You’ve been very successful with your software company and I’d like to talk about that. I really admire a successful man who makes a lot of money and you’re one. Especially as young as you are, to be so successful and making so much money, if you know what I mean. I admire that.”
Twilight: “YOU MEAN YOU ARE AN OILY CROOK WHO JUST WANTS TO BE FILTHY RICH, NEVER MIND THAT FILTHY RICH IS ACTUALLY A VERY NICE STALLION YOU DON’T DESERVE TO HAVE HIS NAME”
Harvey: “Sounds like HE’S the one who who wants to be...gettin’ to know this guy better. Leave the girl outta it.”
“Yes,” agreed Bruce. “I am doing rather well and I enjoy making money. Not the money so much as all the things it can buy. All the wonderful things I can do with it. I own half of this town, Trotter’s Corner, now and someday I’d like to own half of Atlanta itself. First I’m going to name this town, though. I’m going to name it Lucentville! Do you hear that everyone? This town is now Lucentville! And someday Atlanta will be named Lucent City!”
Terra: *suddenly pops up, scrambles for board and writes* “I FIGURED IT OUT! LUCENT, rearrange and replace the letters and what do you get?”
Terra: *erases and writes the following* “LUCENT - LUENCT - LUNECT - LUNACY”
Terra: *looks half-crazed. WHAT HAS THIS CHAPTER DONE TO HIM?*
Twilight: “IT’S - DISCORD - WHAT - DO - YOU - EXPECT”
Terra: *Silence and then he just goes back to that “slumped shoulders, head in hands, sobbing” position. He needs a moment.*
Harvey: *Just. Offers handkerchief.*
Everybody cheered and the waiter brought their food. “More Beer,” he carried? “It’s on the house! .”
TWILIGHT: *SILENT SCREAAAAAAAAAM* “THEY’RE - ALL - BRAINWASHED!”
Twilight: “BRAINWASHING! THERE IS OBVIOUS BRAINWASHING! THIS CAN’T BE ANYTHING ELSE!”
Twilight: *those flames are definitely there and burning brighter* “THERE - WILL - BE - JUSTICE”
“Sure!” they quipped and dug into their food.
“Well,” chewed Stevens around his steak and potatoes and onions and mushrooms and corn on the cob, “I’d like to invest in your company. I’d like to give you a lot of money so that I can have a part of your company and I’ll introduce you to Irene, too.”
Terra: *takes a breath, composes self. He’s fine. He’ll be okay*
Bruce scratched at his neck brace. “Well,” he gobbled pas this roast chicken and ribs, “That sounds quite decent of you. I think I’d like that. And I’m especially looking forward to getting to know Irene Stevens better, if you know what I mean.”
Terra: *writes* “I don’t want to know what you mean...not any more.”
Twilight: *...that’s it. COMBUSTION TIME!*
Terra: *jumps because OH CRAP FLAMING PONY*
Harvey: *jumps and instinctively throws remaining contents of flask on Twilight*
Twilight: *IT IS ALCOHOL SO ONLY BURNS MORE! IS ALSO SCREAMING A MILE A MINUTE! SILENTLY!*
Harvey: *OH GOD THE HORROR*
Terra: O___O *runs off, returns with fire extinguisher, puts out Twilight*
Twilight: *BURN BURN RANT RANT RANT BURN BUR- OH SHIT*
Twilight: *falls to the ground, singed and unkempt, her eyes swirling in her head*
Harvey: *slooooowly leans down and drapes his jacket over Twilight* “There. Eeeeveryone’s calm now. Deep breaths.”
Terra: *deep breath* “We’re almost done. Let’s just end this before anyone else spontaneously combusts.”
Twilight: *if they’re good at pony lip reading they’ll be able to tell she’s saying something about ice cream and a balloon with a smiley face on it*
Wow, she was hot! Fire and ice! They devoured their food and drank more toasts from tall, foamy mugs of ice cold veer. “To Lucentville!”
“To Lucent Software Development Corp.!”
“To Irene Stevens!”
Twilight: *...twitch and a small poof of flame at the end of her tail*
“To Life!”
Terra: *writes* “TO THE END OF THIS HORROR!”
“Fire and ice!”
Harvey: *throws empty flask at screen* “STOP. SAYING. THAT!”
At last they finished their meals. Isaac rubbed his pepper and salt bear,
Terra: *writes* EXIT! PURSUED BY BEAR! *can you tell he wants this to end already?*
Twilight: “DON’T DRAG THE BARD INTO THIS!”
then brushed backs his close trimmed hair.
“How about some desert?” inquired Isaac.
Twilight: “YES EAT SAND GET AWAY FROM US!”
Bruce rubbed his throbbing crotch
Terra: *throws board at screen again*
Harvey: *buries head in hands*
Twilight: *grabs onto all four of their legs and sobs*
where the cast rubbed against it and his stitch had pulled out and his pants were swollen with lust.
“Dessert would be great!” declaimed Bruce. “I’m famished! .”
Fire and ice.
Terra: *writes* “Robert Frost is wishing the world would end in both ways now I think.”
Twilight: “Give me my magic back and I’ll MAKE it happen.”
Harvey: “Give ME a name and address, and I’ll get down to the time machine and fix this.”
Twilight: “DIS-CORD. GET ME TO EQUESTRIA.”
Terra: “Just get ME out of here.” *he rubs at his temples because his head is pounding.*